Anniversary Trip: {Arkansas – Part II}

Part I Recap: Walk in 100 degree heat to distillery, drive to Hot Springs (it ain’t so hot), love B&B, and running out to grab lunch…

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When you get here there’s one tiny parking spot in front of the dilapidated building.  One booth is available by the front door and your 60-something waitress wearing blue eyeshadow with her fire-red hair comes to take your order.  This happens just as you read the sign on the wall that says CASH ONLY.

Your sweet husband (it’s a theme) asks where the nearest ATM is.  “Half mile down dat way,” she says.  And off he goes.  On foot.

Twenty-five minutes have passed when this gets placed in front of you.

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“That’s some good lookin’ BBQ,” you think as you look at your watch.  But you must wait for your husband to arrive from his ATM excursion.  This is when you notice the gentleman taking an absurd amount of pictures in the restaurant.  You eavesdrop on his friends, it sounds like they’re writing on article on the place.

He finally arrives.  You ask “what took so long?” as he goes to take his first bite.

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He begins to tell a tale.  A 1/2 mile into the walk and no ATM in sight, he stops by a Dollar Store to see if he can purchase something to get cash back.  He’s informed this is not possible but the nearest ATM is “about a half mile up the road” (in addition to the half he’s already walked).
PAUSE!
The story comes to a screeching hault because camera man (visible over Pete’s shoulder) swoops in like hawk about 1.5 feet behind Pete’s shoulder and starts snapping a bagillion photos of an old man using a walker coming in through the front door.  You lose track of the number of clicks taking place uncomfortably close to your husband and just past your head (you hope your ear is looking especially nice for the occasion).  You’re pretty sure it’s between 2000-3000.

After awkwardly giggling and praying that Too Close Cameraguy goes away, Pete is back to his tale!

He walks another 1/2 mile and spots a bank.  Upon entering the establishment he is informed the only ATM is a drive thru which works out perfectly given he’s on foot.  The teller informs him he’s more than welcome to walk on over as long as he’s careful.  Whilst opening the door  to walk through the drive thru, a car pulls into line.  Your brave husband takes his spot…standing behind the car.  The embarrassment has no hold on his pride but just as he begins to think he’s in the clear there’s the sound of a vehicle pulling into the driveway.  And as you are sitting in the booth at {McClard’s} staring at your BBQ, your husband is standing between a car and an SUV.  In the drive thru ATM line.  In 100 degree heat in Hot Springs, AR.

And so began his 1 mile jog back to McClard’s BBQ, cash in hand, only be accosted by Too Close Cameraguy.

You laugh and laugh at the slow trainwreck that is your anniversary trip.  Surely it can’t get much more ridiculous than this.  You and Pete jump into the car to head down to the view below.  Snacks and wine await!

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But don’t you get too comfortable, Mrs. Bybel.  Your mind is swirling with pending grape goodness.  Only a mile left to the B&B.
Suddenly, you spot something ahead.  You focus in on the leopard dress, bleach blonde hair, high heels, and strung out body exiting the more than seedy Relax Inn.  Oh my gosh…this is not seriously happening.

You scream, “THERE IS A PROSTITUTE WALKING DOWN THE STREET AT 2PM!!!  WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?!”
And then you break down into hysterical laughter realizing that your weekend “getaway” is just beginning.

{Stay tuned…}


3 comments

  1. Pingback: Throwback Thursday: {2nd Anniversary Trip} « Bybel Stories

    • 100% agree! It’s definitely one for the memory books. 🙂 We had a pretty stellar honeymoon, so it only seems fair that we have a totally whacky 1-year!

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